awakening

okay, today's post is gonna be a bit reflective, i think i'm currently not doing very well in my studies, so need to make up my mind to study harder

anyway, i think i'm not mentally strong enough to force myself to study, too restless man, and studying is like, boring, perhaps it is this very concept that makes it so difficult for me to study. In class today Mr Tan Weng Seng (year head+ cle teacher) talked about the education system, spoke about career choices and university+JC VS poly+ ITE, and all the different schools. It makes me wonder, what would life be like if i'm in neighbourhood school? or maybe a lousier school like ACSI? first of all i think i'll certainly be much happier there, at least for the time being. The truth is RI is not a very happy place to be in if you're someone normal, only the extremely gifted and smart and talented people finds work here fun and interesting =.= and if you dont like what you're doing, chances are you wont enjoy it, then you'll end up doing it badly =/ then he went on to talk about career choices and all the nonsense, I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANNA BE IN THE FUTURE! how? i think this is very bad, and i need to make up my mind soon. All i know is that whatever i'll end up doing i'll be successful in doing it =)

now, my results totally piss me off. math dropped from 81 to 72, chem dropped from 92 to 73, bio, physics, english all going to drop from 80+ to 70+, this is definitely saddening, and because of that, overall grade dropped from 3.85 to most likely a 3.6+, which is extremely good compared to last year, but sucks compared to expectations placed on me.

so i've decided to buck up before it's too late, and start actually giving my best in all i do, like i used to in primary school. and as long as i can do that, everything will really be fine. And i'm gonna train super hard for tennis, go for rugby PTs and do basically everything well and good, it's time to wake up and take control of my life.

who am i, really...?

Battle of the bands 2008

Bryan's Party/ Kien's Birthday 26th July

It was a nice tiramisu cake!

Dare: Make out with Leo's neck

I dont remember being in this picture =/

Playground fun

Happy birthday! (to kien)

Playground fun

i forgot what's this about

okay anyway, the party's pretty good. did some yucky things though, not very nice =/ but still, generally it's pretty good. and bryan's condo has a skate park inside!! omg, i want to move to his condo man, then can do my freestyle skating there, it's awesome. that's about all, i dont think i'm going school tomorrow, still dont feel too well, and there's nothing exciting in school also, so i guess i'll take another day rest and go on wednesday =)

i realised that the doctor at my clinic is very generous. I told him a day of MC would be sufficient, but he insisted on giving me two days. so i'm kind of on mc tomorrow too, and i am in a dilemma, SHOULD I GO SCHOOL TOMORROW?

My form teacher doesnt believe that i am sick, oh well, just have to show him the mc when i get to school then.

Math is very fun, haha, differentiation is like actually pretty easy when you know what's going on, so the cct shouldnt be much of a problem.

and for those who still dont know, i dont shisha. just dont like the idea of sucking harmful smoke out of a bottle very much, so yeah.

Believe in miracles, because you'll need one in your life someday

1. i improved in tennis.

2. i am somewhat broke to a certain extent

3. tomorrow is math test and i dont know anything about differentiation.

4. i've been coughing for a week now.

(3+4) 5. i will take a mc tomorrow =)


Perfection is unattainable. However, if you chase after perfection you'll achieve excellence.

went for bryan's bbq party today, it was pretty good, met a couple of decent guys from st patrick's and a couple of cool ang mohs who offered us vodka and shisha, and of course i stayed far away from the shisha, but didnt mind the vodka though, didnt drink much anyway =)

and for those who actually think that shisha-ing is like nothing and is wayyy healthier than smoking, take at look at this link below:

http://www.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20071101-33613.html

so yeah, luckily i dont shisha and dont smoke =)

putting that aside, I HAVE MATH TEST ON MONDAY. i havent studied yet, wtf man, maybe i'll not go school on monday and study at home, we'll see how tmr. oh and i'm playing tennis at 12 noon with charlie and aloy, shit, how to study? =((((

Dare to love. Dare to play. Dare to try. Dare to win.

so close yet so far

today is not a very happy day, i realised my GPA is going to drop! chem already dropped from 4.0 to 3.6 =/ and there's the possibility for bio and math to drop too, so that means, i'll get like 3.68 instead of 3.85, omg =( GOT TO STUDY HARD ALREADY

and just came back from drama fest not long ago, it was pretty good. the bayley play was awesome! too bad if you missed it, it's like a dark knight show in RI =) super funny, haha

today had rugby PT, it wasnt that bad, maybe because i kind of slacked off some parts. so it was actually very doable, almost had a leg cramp though, shall be training harder =)


Doing things somebody else can do makes you nobody, doing things nobody else can do makes you somebody.

today is a happy day

i finished all my homework for today that's due tmr! ( or a few days ago) so yay! anyway, i realised next few days isnt very good, busy tmr and saturday, tennis on sunday, monday is math test, tuesday is physics quiz and english test, wednesday RE report due, then friday is history test, saturday is the RJC presentation thing, omg so busy... and finally singfest on sunday!!! something to look forward to, haha

and there's a training tomorrow, i'll be going. haha, should have gone for the tuesday one =/i realised that i'm getting fat.

anyway, quote of the day:

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

i wonder how hard it is, to live a life with no regrets

okay i think i've talked enough about how much hw school has that i am already tired of complaining about it (just finished chinese compo =.=)

so anyway, nothing much happened today, i kind of didnt go training to come back home to finish my work =/ and half the team didnt go also, this is bad, shall try not to pon training anymore.

and i've reached a pretty cool conclusion after listening to some gossips. Why the heck would you bother about what others think/say about you? you only get to live life once, just do what you want to do and live the way you want to live, even if it means to defy the crowd and morality of mankind. As long as your conscience is clear and you have no regrets =)

Live life to the fullest, because you dont know which day you'll die

i am tired... from everything

life in RI...

Math PT, English oral defense, two chinese compos, asknlearn SS physic chem, bio worksheet, RE report, English biography

supposedly have to finish all by tonight...

'Dark Knight' sets box office record with $66.4M

it is no amazement that Dark Knight is above to set a new record for that, it was a totally awesome show. the plot, graphics, effects, angles, sound, make up, costume, dress, style, excitement and whatever else you can think of. Wayne the batman is hot, the girl might be slightly ugly but it's alright, it's not about the girl =) so yeah, i shall not talk about it any further, but if you're only going to watch ONE show this year, you should shortlist batman as the top few choices to consider watching =)

and it's 3 am, i'm not very tired. weirrrddddd.


If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

pure randomness

i remembered that there was this song from westlife that goes dreams are there to show you the way

and then some time back i had this dream that i was smoking and it felt pretty good IN the dream

let's hope that westlife is wrong.

i am never going to smoke =)

and just to add on, rugby training resumes next tuesday, and it'll be every tues and fri for the next 10 whole weeks, doing nothing but physical training to get fitter. 80 mins of full PT each session with things that are quite tiring to do... not cool, might just be a bit too tiring

on top of that, there's two chinese compo, english oral defense, RESL report, some asknlearn stuff, math performance task, Bio chem physics worksheets and a whole lot of other stuff due next week. i almost thought that school was nice and this was a good one week break.

okay putting the serious nonsense aside, life's still good and going for tennis soon! ciao =)

i dont believe in coincidences, it must be fate

okay anyway, went for band of the bands (bob) today, it was quite full of nonsense and very noisy. i think i just dont like all the school rock and metal, a bit loud, just a bit =/

tennis tomorrow, looking forward to it =)

and we meet again as strangers from different worlds

sometimes, things are not how it seems/feels

who am i kidding man?

anyway! tmr got to go school at 10am for some rugby meeting. so screwed up, go from all the way from jurong east to bishan just for a short meeting =/ damn, why's RI so far away =(

Shall go learn muay thai/ mixed martial arts soon =)

thanks for the memories

Upon reading your blog post(yes as a matter of fact i do read it once in a while), i find it hard not to write in response to your writing. First of all, i am glad that you are able to take it easy and be able to move on, that is a good thing i suppose because i wish for the best for you as well when i decided that it is time to break up. i would admit that "incapable, stupid, useless, fuck off" were words of anger and that they are definitely not a good choice of vocab to describe you as a whole for the past 13 months. I have already apologised for harsh words, and i hope you wont take it to heart, even though i know it might have hurt you, i'm sorry. The fact is, you have been making a number of mistakes from the time we got together until the time we've broken up, and the last one you made simply fucked me up with my mom. Sometimes, when the damage is already done it is hard to undo.

i did not change as a person, i am still me, be it in 2007 2008 2005 2006... what changed was merely my perception of you. along with this change of perception came the change of feelings towards you. and what caused this perception to change were things that you did. You know very well that i hate people to lie to me, you know very well that i dont like people to intentionally keep things from me, and you know very well that what i hate most is the person closest to me to do those things. when you make a mistake, it does not mean that you will be forgiven simply because you are trying your best to make up for it. sometimes your best is just not enough, and no dont get me wrong, it is not that i do not want to forgive you, but rather simply put, sometimes scars of the past remains in my heart and what you did remains there. i tried to forgive, but it is hard to forget. How many chances have i given you to prove yourself worthy? How many chances have i given you to make up for your mistakes? HOW many times have you screwed up those chances by making another mistake of the same kind?

Yes my expectations can be high at times, but what wrong has these high expectation done to you? You know it yourself that you are a better person now than who you were before. Would it be possible without me? yeah maybe... 20 years later? i have always been there for you. But what i wanted was for you to be able to stand on your own without being dependent on anybody, not even me. I wanted you to be strong. But I was there for you when you needed me, when your parents quarreled, when you wanted to walk out of the house, you knew that i was always there for you. but what stopped you from being able to come up to me was simply the self inferiority and the guilt that you have created for yourself from the mistakes you've made.

you were never the causes of my problems and i have almost never asked to you to solve my problems for me. what i wanted from you was simply for you to fix yourself up. i told you before what your friends thought of you, how you carried yourself to others, how you hold up to your promises and words, about your own responsibility. If you have yet to realise, ever since the first time i've gotten angry with you and scolded you, it were always about these issues. You did not cause me any of my problems, but i made you my problem because i love you. It would be absolutely unnecessary for me to get pissed off if i didnt give a shit about you, wouldnt it? You asked me to think about how i have been treating you, how about you answer it yourself from the bottom of your heart whether i have been treating you well, or not. whether all the things i've done, all the times i've scolded you, were for your own good? or was it just to hurt you and make you upset for no reason? If you knew what you are doing and you have had my trust from the beginning, you never had to obey me. You do realise that you never had to obey me when we first started? you think i started making you to obey me because i've changed. But the fact is, i've only made you listen to everything i say AFTER you've lost my trust through what YOU did. If i cant trust you, the only other thing i can to is to keep a lookout and control over you, isnt it? what other ways would you suggest other than a break up? i tried to trust you more time again and again, but every time you simply disappoint me with some stupid lie that we go back to square one.

regarding your question on how much you meant to me and how easily i've gotten over this, the fact that i am actually spending time to type this now should mean something. you know what kind of person i am, i do not have to show what i feel on my face 24/7. I should not have to paste a sticker on my forehead that says "i care about you" in order for you to know that i care. Maybe this is one failure of me as a your boyfriend, and it simply shows that there is no understanding and trust between us. i did care for you and i did love you, maybe you didnt even know or notice it because of all the nonsense you've done.

ultimately, i am glad that you have matured through this relationship, and that you've learnt something. i know that sometimes i do have pretty much of a temper and i thank you for your tolerance and understanding, as well as all the time you've spent by my side. I do compliment you for all the things you've done for me, all the times you came back to buy me lunch and visit me, it is all these memories and warm little things that you've done that made us last for 13 months. Thank you for doing all these for me, and they'll always be special. This was never how i wanted it to end but i guess the situation left me with no choice. I have never regretted about us getting together, but you were right about this being probably the best option for both of us. i hoped that as a whole, you were happy spending your last 13 months with me, a year and one month, which isnt a short time at all. yes it is true now that we both have brand new lives and a new living style, and yes perhaps it is true that you do deserve someone better, who would not be so capable and give in to you more and let you have your way in doing whatever you want and pretend to not see through your lies. Whatever it is, i am glad that you have got your friends, however as a personal advice from me, be strong enough to stand on your own, the friends you have cannot be depended on for life, you know it yourself after what we've discussed about them. i wish you now all the best in the future, remember to study and ace your exams, and take care of yourself.

Love,
Luwei

omg school is so boring and tiring